The Big 3-0 (Oh No!)
For whatever reason, historically turning 30 can somewhat traumatize people. Maybe it stems from back in the day when life expectancy was much shorter. A person’s 30th birthday was like halftime at a football game when teams go back to their locker rooms to evaluate what happened during the first half and figure out what to do in the second half.
Turning 30 is also a time most people really begin to examine their life. They look back on past events and start to analyze how they got to this point. They often scold themselves with thoughts like, “I wish I knew then what I know now.” They begin to realize all the seemingly traumatic things in the past have become nothing more than trivial footnotes. As they pick apart the events of their younger years it finally dawns on them that there are consequences to their actions or inactions.
They look around at their friends. Some are married. Some now have kids of their own. Some have certain careers, while others are still finding their way in life. While either consciously or subconsciously they start comparing their own life to others.
It is also about this age people really start examining where they are in life. Instead of being the “know it all” twenty something, they begin to realize how much more they need to learn to become a highly functional adult. For many self doubts are flooding in.
The Tyber Lustig Foundation’s message for the new to join the 30 crowd is “Chill Out.” Thirty is not the big number you make it out to be. There is so much life ahead. Spend your time looking at the road ahead and stop looking in the rearview mirror at the road you just traveled.
You are better equipped to make important life decisions than you have ever been. You know yourself better than ever before. You are well aware of your strengths and weaknesses. Hopefully, you have owned up to poor decisions in your past and are committed to learning from them to better your feuture.
By this time, you know what you like and dislike. You should embrace who you are as a person and not give a hoot (we cleaned that up) about what others say or think about you. You need to look at the person you see every morning in the mirror and acknowledge that it is this person’s happiness you need to be concerned about. Once that person is at peace, life decisions get easier.
On the subject of worrying – break it down. Are you worried about something you have control over or are you worried about something out of your control? For the latter, if it is not in your control, why bother worrying about it. Just hope for the best and prepare for the worst. If you are worried about something you have control over, stop worrying and start doing something about it. If it is a money problem – fix it. Either figure out how to make more money or cut down on spending. In any case, it’s basically just a math problem. Never get worked up over a math problem. There is always a solution.
When it comes to nonfinancial aspects of turning 30, write your issues down. Feeling dejected because someone doesn’t like you as much as you like them? News flash! It may be a blessing in disguise. If you are putting in maximum effort into making someone happy while they do little to make you happy, what should that tell you? Answer? MOVE ON.
You should be preoccupied with determining where you want to live and how you want to live. The goal should be to go to bed every night looking forward to the next day. Try to learn something new each and every day. Even the slightest learning experiences add up substantially over time. Always remember that everyone eventually tells themselves, “I wish I knew then what I know now.” Figure out what that might be now so there are fewer things you wish you knew in the future.
For a variety of reasons, 30 is the new 20. Calm down and embrace your 30’s.
